How to Help Kids Make Decisions

Letting kids make their own decisions was something I thought was easy to do, show them their choices and go from there! Right? Nope, it can never be that simple! 

 Telling a kindergartener to go to their closet and pick out something to wear isn't as easy for them as it is for us. Actually, it's as frustrating for everyone and teaching the kids to make a decision early in life helps with the bigger decisions later.

 I take only two outfits out for them to choose from, if they really wanted to wear something that wasn't my idea, I take the third item out and only hold two of them up. The kids pick one of the two, the one they don't want goes back in the closet. Then I take the last two outfits and hold them up. The one not chosen goes back in the closet and even if I don't like an outfit or think they should wear something else,they feel like they have done something important for themselves. 

The older the kids get, the bigger the decisions get. They love choosing what to get to pack their lunches with but tend to want everything instead of a just a few things. I help them with the process until they are old enough to understand that they can choose one kind of cookie instead of four kinds of cookies for their lunch. They have to choose something healthy and what kind of lunch meat they want. Lunch box or paper bag. 

Later the bigger decisions start coming and they seem to know what they want and know how to make a better decision instead of them getting frustrated and saying "I don't know what I want!" and just going along with someone else's choices that might be bad for them.

Why Mom Needs a Big Purse

--> I always carried around a little purse, just big enough to carry bank cards, the check book, a couple of pens and maybe a couple of makeup items. Then along came the kids and the diaper bag!

Diaper bags aren't too awfully bad, you can take all kinds of things with you that you might need! Diapers, wipes, bottles, snacks, toys and a lot of times I had the ones that have lots of pockets so I didn't even bother carrying a purse around, I could keep my stuff there as well! Diaper bags start out as a convenience but often lead to a really bad habit, like carrying around huge purses later that could put your back out if you aren't careful!

Once the little ones are potty trained and I didn't  need that old diaper bag anymore, I tried going back to carrying around my tiny little purse but at this point, it seems like it just isn't enough.

Even though you don't need the diapers and bottles anymore, you still need somewhere to keep all of your stuff and the stuff that keeps a mom and a little kid busy and happy!

This is where a checklist comes in handy!

• Bank Cards, Check Book, Pens

• Snacks and a few zip lock bags

• A couple little toys 

• Kids books

• A good book for me in case the kids fall asleep and I have waiting time somewhere.

• Crayons and either a little coloring book or scrap paper

• A book with the kids' pictures in, in case the kids at some point aren't with me.

• An extra set of car and house keys - for some reason when kids are little, keys have a magical way of disappearing.

• Cell phone charger - they come in handy when there's a long wait at the Dr. office or dance, scouts and other places you need to be with kids.

• Pain reliever/fever reducer for the kids - just in case!

• Pain reliever for Mom - just in case!

• Personal care items for Mom

• Makeup in case there comes a time when I can actually take the time to put some on!

• A schedule or calendar book to keep track of appointments and other things that you would forget about if you don't write them down.

There are tons of other things I'm sure I could get in my purse now that I have a much bigger one! When someone asks what I have 'in there' I tell them "everything but the kitchen sink, but I don't need one because I have wipes!"

After looking over my list, I'm sure there is something I forgot but can't remember at the moment what it might be.

Does anyone have a brush and a ponytail holder?

Abuse at Home or at the ER?

My son has a scar on his forehead. He's older now and laughs, says people say that it looks like the same one Harry Potter has! Remembering when he got it isn't as funny.

Who would have ever thought that a little kid, spinning in circles and walking crooked across the floor would end up hitting his head off of a cabinet and needing stitches? Not me!

Out of three kids, my youngest was the first I had ever had to take to the hospital emergency room at 18 months old and what I got when I got there, was nothing of what I expected! My oldest was eight at the time, she was a big help! On the way to the hospital, she kept talking to him to keep him from crying and held a cold wash cloth on his head.

I got to the ER and my daughter was taken and sat outside the room where a doctor and nurses spent quite some time questioning her as to what happened before they came and asked me and took a look at the wound on the little guys head.

She was as scared as her brother, she didn't spend a lot of time in hospitals or with people she didn't know.  While I can understand all of these people asking her what happened, I never could understand why the fifteen minutes of questioning a little kid before coming to me.

If I hadn't taken her with me, they would have had to talk to me first. I can truly understand asking a kid for answers because usually kids don't lie and if they do, it's easy to detect because they change their answers so frequently, but in this case, I wasn't a regular visitor, neither of the kids had bruises, their hair and clothes were clean except for the blood from his head.

I would think that taking care of his wound would have been first priority but it wasn't and that really upset me! Aren't there more things to look at than a wound on a kid to start digging and trying to find out if a kid has been abused?

After all the questions my daughter and I got and them doing their best to make me feel like a failure, they ended up taking and belting him down on a papoose board, covering his whole body with a white disposable cloth, except where they were going to put his stitches, letting him scream while they were working on him and then complaining that he wouldn't hold still  and not letting me near him to comfort him was more abuse in my opinion than they were assuming that they would find.

Did I Teach Her That?

Listening to little kids learning new words is great but what happens when they start blurting out things they hear?

Sometimes it's funny when you hear them say new words and the words really just sound like something else completely different. Other times it’s just funny when they actually say swear words until you remember you have to take them to their Grandparents house or church or somewhere that would make you look like all you do is swear!

 I remember the first time my daughter dropped a crayon in church. It was so quiet; everyone heard her get angry and say a couple words that only a drunken sailor would say! Wow! My face was red it was kind of, well...embarrassing!!

I decided after that incident at church, I would change my ways and quit using curse words. I was going to make sure she wasn’t around anyone else who couldn’t control their tongue! I was going to be a good influence on her no matter what! I remember having to stand up,holding her in church and sliding her down to stand on her own, and that's
when I realized that my button down dress had become unbuttoned almost completely! Yikes! Well, yikes wasn’t the word I used, let’s just say that everyone that was there that day could confirm exactly where she had learned to swear like a drunken sailor! Some good influence, eh?!

It's a Tough Job but Somebody has to do it!

As a teenager, I was the favorite big sister, the favorite aunt and chosen babysitter. I had lots of calls to babysit on the weekends and sometimes would go from one neighbor’s house to the other and people would schedule weekend plans around my availability. I loved kids! I had all the patience of a saint, would teach them things like tying their shoes, riding a bike and even taught some how to read! No wonder everyone wanted me to babysit for them!

Never once did I realize or even think of how hard it must be to be a parent. I couldn’t wait to be a Mom! After my oldest came along and I started having to wake up in the middle of the night, being thrown up on, cleaning bottles, changing diapers and everything that came along with being a mom, I didn’t have the unlimited time, patience and fun that I had before. This was an exhausting job sometimes and I needed a nap a lot of times before it was nap time for the baby!

 This job was harder than I could have ever imagined! It’s a tough job but someone has to do it! It’s more rewarding than anything else but not as easy as I originally thought it would be and once you have it, it’s permanent! No taking these kids back to their parents at the ends of the day!